Creative Connectivity - the site for eHealth, telematics and wireless

Tom Lehrer Revisited – My Lockdown

June 10th, 2020 |  Published in Serendipity

Looking back on the past few months, everything I’ve written has been about the effects of Covid-19 and lockdown.  It’s all still best described as a global experiment, where most of our politicians are still guessing. 

It felt that it was probably time to lighten the tone.  I grew up with the songs of the great American satirist, Tom Lehrer, which still feel as fresh as when they were written.  Lockdown seemed to be a good opportunity to revisit and update them, so here’s my offering based on one of his classics – My Home Town.

And for those that want the lyrics, or missed any of the words:

I really have a yen

To go out once again

To see the streets that all have been locked down

To meet once more those super-special just plain folks

In my home town.

Nobody could ignore

Our dominatrix, for

Her clients’ screams were heard through all the town.

Now no one pays to taste her whips or feel her canes

As she’s locked down.

Our local Minister of State.  He told us all SELF ISOLATE,

Then drove his family

To their country house.

He took his mum and dad some lemsips and a grouse.

He didn’t take the blame,

But Dominic’s the same.

The Reverend from our church

Who left us in the lurch

When he was sent to court and then sent down.

Now all his choirboys have to practice on their own

As they’re locked down.

The hipster with the beard

Whose food we all revered

Although a nasty vegan shade of brown.

It kept us higher than the steeple on the church.

Now he’s locked down.

I remember Brad, he was our mad conspiracist

Who would insist that all he read

Was true.

He used to burn down mobile phone masts, as he knew

That all those 5G waves

Would turn us into zombie slaves.

The lads who thought it cool

To take their knives to school

And skewer all the kids from out of town

On second thoughts, it feels much safer here at home

Let’s stay locked down.

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About Creative Connectivity

Creative Connectivity is Nick Hunn's blog on aspects and applications of wireless connectivity. Having worked with wireless for over twenty years I've seen the best and worst of it and despair at how little of its potential is exploited.

I hope that's about to change, as the demands of healthcare, energy and transport apply pressure to use wireless more intelligently for consumer health devices, smart metering and telematics. These are my views on the subject - please let me know yours.

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